Find love again after heartbreak, loss and divorce

*Note: The author of this tip has a professional relationship with a brand in this post so may stand to gain something in exchange for promotion.
Photo by Wilson Sánchez on Unsplash
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How It Works

Do you want to love again?

Or are you looking for faith in love again after being heartbroken or disappointed in love?

If you’ve gone through divorce or breakup, this remedy is for those who:

a) are committed to do the work it takes to have love

b) are ready to FEEL and engage in your feelings no matter what you feel

c) want to be in a relationship with another

 

There are some people who really do wish to be alone after divorce and break-up and that’s fine and perhaps the better choice for them!

 

But THIS remedy is to assist those who REALLY want to love again and build a loving relationship, as part of the remedy is actually choosing to be vulnerable with someone again and find harmony with another person - even if you don’t quite know how it will be possible.

 

That choice to be vulnerable with someone is not about running into the first relationship you find - but actually about setting a tone and feeling and approach to love in your heart with the vision of eventually (and not before the time is right) sharing yourself with someone.

 

BELOW are three SIMPLE steps to loving again (PS - they’re not easy - but they are simple)

1. Make a clear heart-based choice that you want to love despite any lack of faith or doubt in the safety or assuredness of love.

 

You can choose to start with loving yourself - a very good place to start. But the first step is actually saying to yourself - and even others around you - you are ready to believe in love. You may have no idea what that may look like, but you are choosing to be open to the possibility - and you are prepared to go through some level of the ‘unknown’ in order to get there.

This step requires commitment in the face of the voices in your head that say - no, it’s too dangerous.

 

2. Engaging with your feeling and the feelings in your body and heart.

 

When you have a bad experience in love, the body and the heart remembers these bad feelings and will tend to hide away or avoid situations where you will feel vulnerable or open to experiences that you had with your ex or in the relationship.

Your body is actually a key instrument in determining the parts of you that are too scared to trust again or be vulnerable.

Your body is also then the avenue to facing those feelings you tend to avoid when it comes to love, including those areas you are hurt or just plain don’t want to go there again in case you get hurt.

When you feel those parts of you that are hurt and give them a nurturing space to be felt - magic happens. Your heart opens more and more, the more you give space for your feelings to be felt.

This step requires a deep commitment to giving space to your feelings and listening to your body for the signs that it needs time to relax, let go and be heard - so the feelings can be felt.

 

3. Once you have given yourself time and space to fully accept your vulnerability you are ready to start dreaming about the love that embraces all of you.

 

There is never a wrong or right time to start dreaming. But when you have come from divorce, heartbreak and loss you are often carrying unresolved hurt, bad feelings and grief. Those feelings can taint even the most optimistic dreamer.

 

When you are ready to call in a new relationship, it’s best to start with dreaming about the type of love that you have been giving to yourself in step 2. The type of love that allows you to feel all your feelings and not judge, criticize or push them away. And the type of love that also embraces that even though you have some vulnerabilities - you are safe.

Dream work and vision work are valuable ways for you to feel the type of safe space and relationship that embraces all of you.

For some of us - that vision of the ideal relationship will be loving ourselves until we feel ready to give more to another. For others, you will need to call in a person to fully experience what it feels like to be vulnerable. There’s no right or wrong time to be in relationship with another.

 

However, the power of dreaming of being with someone is really important as a tool to see more of where you may be scared, vulnerable or still full of fear. It doesn’t mean you can’t find someone who you will help you with those parts of yourself. Not at all (I’ll share my example below).

But if you spend time visioning yourself sharing yourself with someone - you will see all the places you need extra love and attention - and you can include in your dream and vision work the extra awareness YOU need - which you can communicate with your partner. Let them know you are vulnerable in those areas.

Remember - not everyone will necessarily call in a partner in this step. It’s all about dreaming about what it would be like to be close with someone - with all your vulnerabilities - so you know better what TLC you need for those parts of you that are sensitive and human and need acceptance and love.

Do you want to believe in love again? 

If you wish to discover more about how to handle your emotions so you and your relationships can create a love relationship that flourishes -  

"3 Easy Techniques to Love Again when you think its not possible - after heartbreak, divorce and loss."

 

A special event to re-inspire faith in love.

 

Register now by clicking here:

http://transform.loveandrelationshipcoach.com/3-easy-techniques-to-love-again

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Photo by Christopher Sardegna on Unsplash

Story

Back in 2012 I had a very bad breakup. What made it so bad was that we did live out one of my fantasies of getting back together, but it still did not work out. And I was also convinced that we could make the relationship work - but we couldn’t.

 

The reality that I could not make the relationship work was what put my mind into a tailspin. I could not stop thinking after the breakup “why couldn’t we make it work” and I still had feelings for my ex.

 

I felt like a failure and felt that I had no clue as to how to stop the cycle of beginning relationships that did not last. I was pretty scared about going into a new relationship thinking that I had already failed at my past relationships - so what would be different now. I constantly was going over and over in my head that my ex and I “could have” made it work. I was stuck and unable to let go of my past or embrace a different future. My work suffered, my brain suffered and I felt unable to embrace the joy in the little things or the pleasure of what I loved before I was even in a relationship with my ex.

 

I was very close with my body and feelings through meditation and by connecting with my body through dance and dance healing, but after the breakup, I could not shake the old ways of holding on to the past, until one day when I did a meditation that connected deeply to my soul.

 

The meditation with the soul had a very different feeling to the emotions and chaos of my body. Because of the deep connection with my body through the dance I began to experience in my meditations how to completely relax my body while also feeling a deep love for my body, which housed my soul. I found after all the years of enjoying my body in movement, now I could enjoy my body in stillness - and how deep within this body was a part of me that quietly waiting - waiting for me to listen and take away all my worry. That part that was waiting - was my soul.

 

It was confronting at first to know there was this wise part inside, that new exactly the type of love I was looking for. And it also knew that my ex, while he taught me a lot about love, was not the one to give me the love that I was dreaming about and that my soul was holding as my dream of love.

 

By connecting with my soul through a deep honoring of the body - and experiencing what I call “embodied meditation”, I began to feel the power of being able to sense the love that I had been waiting for - and at the same time know that it was just a matter of feeding that deep love in my soul until the love that I dreamed about would fall into my lap.

 

And so it did.

5 years later, I have a partner and love relationship that is beyond what I dreamed. We met in another country, beyond any possible logical way of meeting each other, in the most uncanny and bizarre circumstances. And when we met - it was two beings ready to truly embrace the unknown - but with a deep heartfelt commitment to honoring the other.

 

I can only attribute the uniqueness of our meeting to the conditions of trusting and following the wise, timeless and most loving part of me that never judged, never hurried, never criticized, never saw a failure - and never let me run away from the love that I was waiting for - my soul.

 

When my partner and I met each other, my emotions and thoughts still flared up and said, but "what if":

it doesn't work out, he's crazy, he's not the one, I don't know how its going to work out, it's not safe, blah blah blah.

 

BUT...my heart just felt him. And while I am not a dis-believer in love at first sight, I had not until I met my current partner, felt how my heart could deeply trust and surrender to love with someone. I had no idea how that could happen. When I met my current partner, my heart felt alive and deeply connected to all of me, including my body and soul. I discovered that loving another is truly surrendering to the unknown AND trusting your own inner wisdom to nurture and guide the journey to create the love you desire.

 

Before I met my current partner, I attracted other relationships that taught me to trust my inner voice and soul completely. All because I made a choice of compassion for my emotions and complete commitment to my soul's wisdom about the deep love I was wanting to create. Those other relationships were not “dream” relationships, but they did show me my commitment to the greater love that is within my soul.

 

If you are ready to meet your soul and feel that part of you that is waiting to be met, to love and to create a space to honor who you are - and the other person that you are willing to create a loving relationship with, then join me in the webinar and experience what that love could be for you:

http://transform.loveandrelationshipcoach.com/3-easy-techniques-to-love-again

What do you think?

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Jamie Ferrell
By Jamie Ferrell
940 - Ambassador
3 years ago

This is really beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

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